Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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