I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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