So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
