He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
