what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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