Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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