he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
