If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
