remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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