Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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