This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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