We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
