please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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