I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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