Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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