wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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