I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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