you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
