Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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