woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That was an excessively violent trivia night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
