i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
