SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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