yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
In America we eat man semen.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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