I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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