I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
