i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
