What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
