The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
