somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
