I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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