Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
