Yo dont text me then not text me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
