through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
