The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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