why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
