so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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