So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
