I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have post one night stand depression
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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