home. puking in laundry basket.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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