just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
