Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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