you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
