I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
