This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
