Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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