What did we do last night that was yellow?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
