1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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