speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
