I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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