i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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