in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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