I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
