fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
