she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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